Beauty experts have been going around for some time chatting up beer as a great hair conditioner. Egg yolks somehow came into this conversation too. Not with beer. Separately. I’ve never heard of a bespoke egg-beer mix, but it’s probably out there because, you know, humans. But the conventional wisdom is that eggs are supposed to infuse your hair roots with vitamins and beer is supposed to act similarly but remove residue as well. Let me just say this: maybe this depends on the type of hair you have, but I’ve found that all either accomplished was to have me leave the shower smelly—quite the opposite intention of showering at all.
And I thought the purpose was to come out smelling like Irish Spring.
That said, beer does have some great cleaning applications (who knew?), some of which make me wonder why we think it’s okay to ingest it (but you know, again, humans). Of course, that indicates that it’s probably a green cleaner, meaning it’s sustainable and environmentally-friendly. So here goes.
If you get so sloshed you spill beer all over the floor this St. Patrick’s Day, rest assured you probably won’t ruin it because beer apparently is a great stain remover on carpet and rugs, and it restores shine and dull color to wood.
Rust remover. This one gives me pause. Apparently the carbonation will break down rust on hardware, bolts, nails, and most metal surfaces. It can even help polish your gold jewelry. So what is it exactly doing to our intestines?
Mousetrap. Mice like beer. Mice like beer more than people like beer, and they will scurry towards it and climb over large pails even if there’s only an inch high of beer in it because they are attracted to its aroma. They will then drink themselves into a stupor, enabling you to cart them outside. Please don’t put so much beer in the pail that they drown. That’s just cruel and unnecessary. Also, cats work, and then you don’t have to deal with inebriated mice.
Grass fertilizer. The yeast in the beer ferments the soil allowing microbes to grow while the acid kills pests. So win-win. Also, composting, which is also green and highly sustainable, and horse manure work too.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day from all of us at PopUP CleanUP! If you’d like professional services instead of bespoke ones, we offer green cleaning for events, event venues, and commercial spaces.
